How to Spend Time Alone 101 for Self-Love

We all want to love ourselves—it’s that simple. Self-love is a remembering process—we don’t necessarily grow something that’s not there already—rather we remember or awaken to the love that was there all along. Spending time alone has awakened me to my own self-love. Here’s an example of how.

There was a phase of my life when I lived in a refurbished barn next to some horses that looked out on a big yard in Glendale, CA. When I wasn’t working, I spent most of my time lounging in the sun or going on long walks listening to Elizabeth Gilbert or Brené Brown on tape. I’d have solo dance parties to India. Arie and spend time cooking kale and eggs. I’d meditate and pet my favorite horse for an hour at a time.

It was a phase I needed to love myself more, because before that, I always thought I needed people around me to be happy. I thought I needed in-person, human connection in order to thrive, and yet here I was thriving more than I ever had in my life, spending most of my time with just imperfect, loving me. It was such an empowering thought that I could be this happy and adoring toward myself alone. Now don’t get me wrong—there were times when I was lonely, and I’ve had happier times of my life that included more social interaction. Still, realizing that I could be so damn happy in that setting was incredibly useful to my wellbeing.

Is there a time when you feel alone and empowered throughout the day? Is there something you can do to integrate more alone time into your routine?

Here are some examples of how to ride solo a bit more each week:

  • Sing and dance in the car on your way to work

  • Spend an extra 10 minutes in bed stretching, lounging, and dreaming in the morning

  • Cook while the family is elsewhere

  • Garden and possibly set up a rad gnome collection

  • Climb trees, swim in the lake, or otherwise act like a little kid somewhere in the wild

  • Go bra shopping, hay, hay! Treat yourself!!

  • Netflix n’ chill with a cup of tea and take out ;)

  • Go on a walk listening to a good book on tape

  • Draw or paint in bed

  • Decorate the house

  • Sit outside and watch the sunset under a blanket

  • Have yoga class at home—make it up as you go along or use youtube

  • Use InsightTimer or another meditation app to listen to visualizations or meditations

  • Write a journal entry, blog post, or creative writing piece

So there you have it. 14 ways to integrate alone time into your routine. I know it’s hard to get started. Believe me, I’ve been there. But once you do, it’s really a blast. So get out there and fly…I know you’ll do great.

Artwork by Rita Loyd

Catherine Thornber